Teresa Giudice: I begged Bravo not to air my husband Joe calling me a "bitch" and a "c*nt"!!!



Teresa says she had no idea he had made those comments until Bravo released a preview of the scene -- which featured Joe having a private conversation while they were celebrating Caroline's 50th birthday.

"I hadn't seen it... Once I got a copy and watched it, I was sick. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. It has not been a good couple of weeks," Teresa wrote.

"Of course I begged Bravo not to air it, but when you sign up for a TV show, you sign up to show everything, warts and all. The good and the bad. Kind of like that other promise: for better or for worse.

"I can't make any excuses for what Joe said... He doesn't talk like that to me at home, he's never called me that name before, and he doesn't remember saying it. But it's not right. It hurt my feelings, and it was horrible to watch it play out on national TV,"she said.

"Why did he say it? I have no idea. I do know we were in the wine capital of America drinking heavily...

Alcohol + camera = not a good idea. Believe me, if he talked like that regularly, we would not be together. I don't know why the camera (and alcohol) brings out the worst in him... it just does."

There's been speculation Joe was actually talking to another woman on the phone - in which he called Teresa a "retard" and "pain in the ass" - Teresa clearly believes it was a work-related call.

"He did have problems with his work back home, and we left our kids behind in a hurricane... But no matter what the circumstances were, it's not OK that he talked to me like that. It's not OK for our relationship, it's not OK as an example for our daughters" the star wrote.

Joe "does feel terrible" and has "apologized" for his actions, according to Teresa, who explained in her blog that Jersey guys are "animals" as justification. Teresa wrote she'd rather have her husband be real and honest than act like a gentleman to her face and cheat behind her back.

"The truth is Joe and I are happy together now. He's a great dad and a great husband and we still really like each other. He's not perfect, I'm not perfect, but you put up with each other's faults for the good of the whole," she wrote in her Bravo blog.

"Should I break up my family and leave him because he called me an ugly name a year ago? My pride wants to of course, but I don't think that's the right or responsible thing to do. People don't stay married for decades without bumps in the road. So this is a pretty big bump, but I'm hanging on."